Prohibited Perambulators Proceed at Personal Peril

Thanet Theroid has encountered, on several separate occasions, teenage riders of quad bikes/mopeds/hairdryers on the Thanetian footpaths, pedestrian links/alleyways or local parks. 

Is Thanet Theroid picking on Thanetian Teenagers? No, it has, unfortunately, been forced to jump out of the way of teens, nay perambulators on motorised wheels.

Thanet Theroid decided upon a wintery, promenade cliff-top walk.  The paving above the unfenced cliffs being almost completely smooth and devoid of bollards evidently proved a shameless call to under-age riders.  Elderly were forced to the side, jeered at and jostled with wanton abandon.  One elderly chap was reduced to shaking an ineffective and unseen fist as a rider revved and zoomed up a pedestrian alleyway between houses.

When the snow fell over the Isle of Thanet those days ago, Thanet Theroid witnessed a quad-biker (fresh out of nappies) terrorising a local park.  Should Thanet Theroid have called the local police station?  Surely they must have heard the overactive hairdryer from the custody suite?

What should be done to stop these predominantly dangerous misdemeanours? Does anyone care? Will it take a mowed down mutt to attract retribution?  Who’s up for the Washing Line approach?  Personal Peril resulting in the garrotting of said perpetrators?  Everyone loves “The Great Escape” why not put it into practice in peace time?

Perhaps Thanet Theroid and all Thanetians will achieve greater peace at this festive time. *Cough*, or piece.

Westwood Walking

Having missed out on the shopping extravaganza in the immediate days after Christmas due to illness, Thanet Theroid decided to venture to the wilds that is, or are, Westwood. 

The Theroid-Mobile sailed effortlessly past the Asda roundabout, slowed only momentarily by traffic in the roundabout turning into Tesco.  Indeed finding a space in the Matalan car park only took a mere few minutes, not particularly registering high on the Westwood Cross Gridlockometer.

Thanet Theroid trundled into aforesaid Matalan, stopped off at Brantano, perused BHS Home and decided to leave the Theroid-Mobile and continue en-hoof to the Homebase, Argos etc. shopping area via the pedestrian crossing link.  Thanet Theroid assumed, rather naively but according to Westwood Myth, that this would be the faster route.

Was it heck!  Cars sailed past as Thanet Theroid teetered on the brink of the Mythological Westwood Cross Gridlock which had, magically, transformed into a fast-flowing torrent of Thanetian vehicles.  Previously unheard of at Westwood, apparently.  The pedestrian crossing took an eternity to bestow its green man smile upon Thanet Theroid, not even picking up on the parting of the Westwood Vehicular Sea.

One thing guaranteed to annoy Thanet Theroid is the slowing of a driver, gesturing to awaiting crossers but oblivious to the second lane of traffic beside him/her awaiting to zoom past and collect points for knocking down misguided Westwood Walkers foolish enough to respond to a seemingly innocent and friendly hand gesture.   

In contrast, pedestrians champing at the bit to cross Margate Road accosted Thanet Theroid in the form of a frantic pack of sale-hungry shoppers.  If Thanet Theroid had decided to take the car between segments of Westwood, it would have been far less traumatic.  Vehicles line up and pass as per expectation, the Shopping Pack has no such rules, not even passing a glance to the wounded as they snarl past.  Packs of sale-hungry shoppers flooding the pedestrian crossings at Westwood were in no way dissimilar to those storming the ped-routes of Westwood Cross itself, devouring retail competitors in their wake.

Next time, green or no, the Theroid-Mobile will not be left tethered to its white lines nor will Thanet Theroid surf the sea of Sale-Shopping as a small fish again but set sail as a Great White Thanetian Theroid.